SPENT

Now among those who went up to worship at the feast were

some Greeks. So these came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida

in Galilee and said to him, “Sir, we wish to see Jesus.” Philip

went and told Andrew: Andrew went with Philip and they told

Jesus. John 12:20ff

This desire of the Gentile Greek people to see Jesus was a signal to him that the end had now come.

Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man

to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat

falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it

bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates

his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves

me, he must follow me; and where I am, there shall my servant

be also; if anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains

alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

And yet, in many ways, we find ourselves much more like a grain of wheat which remains on the shelf

and preserves itself

refusing to fall into the ground and die.

It sits up there on the shelf. Gets older and mouldier.

Conserves its energies.

Keeps itself safe because it is afraid to go down into that ground.

Afraid to spend itself. Why do we conserve our energies like this?

What are we saving ourselves for?

So we can get older and still remain alone?

Granted, there are many spent lives at the bottom of the ditch.

Lives that have wasted themselves on all kinds of things.

For instance; there are those who have spent their lives on dissipation. They have given themselves up to a lust, or

to a passion, or

to a thirst which has consumed them.

So what is left of their wasted bodies can think of nothing else but

that next drink or

that next fix or

that next orgy

until at last even that flame of desire and passion burns into ash

and there’s nothing left.

And there are those also who have spent themselves on a delusion that they thought was true.

They were going to bring in the classless society or the new age. They were going to establish a new kind of church.

They were going to bring in the New Order.

There are people who will spend themselves,

no sacrifice is too great,

no price is too high to pay,

no suffering too extreme.

And then one day they wake up and discover they have spent themselves on an ideology that is false.

They have given themselves over to something that just isn’t real. The movement that they are in is more corrupt than the enemy they have been fighting all their lives.

There are others that have spent themselves on an idol.

Here’s a man who spent his whole life worshiping his wife.

As if his life draws its meaning from her.

And then one day she up and leaves him.

Or

A woman who makes an idol out of her child.

Lives for that child. Does anything for that child.

Goes to any length for that child. Will scrub floors.

Will do anything so that he can have anything that he wants.

And then one day the child wakes up, tears himself out of her

clutches and starts living a life of his own. And she’s left alone.

Sooner or later whatever idol we live for is going to be smashed and we are going to end up with nothing.

There are those who have spent themselves on a driving ambition

for riches,

fame, or

power, or lands.

And again, nothing is too much to do.

No sacrifice is too great to make.

They’ll go anywhere.

They’ll do anything just to achieve this goal.

When they achieve that goal, they set a new goal.

And they keep going like this until finally they’re burnt out.

And then all they can do is sit at the card table

looking at the scrapbook of their past achievements,

while other people swim in their swimming pools and

play golf on their private golf course.

Perhaps we’re inclined to pat ourselves on the back and say, “Well, praise God. At least we haven’t spent ourselves on foolishness as those people. We’re still in tact.

We still have our health.

We’re in pretty good shape.

We’re unspent.”

Then one day, we wake up to the shattering realization that the most wasted life of all is the life that’s unspent.

If we come to the end of our days

never having sunk ourselves body, soul, and spirit into anything,

our lives are more empty and pointless

than the most hopeless drunk that ever lived or

the most deluded revolutionary that ever tried to highjack a plane. At least they sank themselves into something.

Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies,

it remains alone.

But when it falls into the ground and dies, it’s spending itself,

pouring itself out.

That’s exactly what Jesus did.

And it’s precisely what he’s calling us to do.

He who loves his life, loses it, and he who hates his life in this

world will keep it for eternal life.

Jesus is calling us to spend ourselves.

To pour ourselves out on the one thing that really matters.

The kingdom of God is like treasure hidden in a field, which a

man finds and covers up; then in his joy, he goes and sells all

that he has and buys that field. Matthew 13:44

And when he sells all that he has to buy the field, he’s spending himself. Pouring himself out.

We will never taste the life which God has for us so long as we’re measuring every ounce that we give to it to make sure we get at least an ounce, or maybe an ounce and a half, or two ounces back.

When Mary, in that same twelfth chapter of John,

takes the ointment worth three hundred denarii, a year’s wages,

and anoints Jesus’ feet

and wipes them with her hair, she isn’t measuring.

She is pouring out the best that she has.

Oh, we pour out the best that we have on ourselves.

We’re glad to sacrifice to achieve things for ourselves.

But Mary is pouring this out on Jesus -- extravagantly.

And Mary’s life is in that ointment.

Just as the ointment goes to Jesus so does Mary’s life go to Jesus.

And as it goes for Jesus, her life gives off an aroma just like the fragrance that fills that room when she anointed Jesus’ feet.

If we were in the middle of severe persecution right now, and every Sunday when we gathered together, there would be four or five of us gone, sent off to prison or executed for our faith, then it would be easier for us to grasp what it means to spend ourselves.

If we realized that before the end of this summer, we would be having to make the decision that would cost us everything -- that we were going to die; and out of our death would come life for countless others. Then it would be easier to grasp what it means.

No doubt, one day, indeed,

we are going to have to live that kind of life and

go through that kind of death.

But what are we going to do in the meantime?

Are we going to sit around and wait for violent persecution?

Surely we need to learn what it means to spend ourselves right now. Pour ourselves out. Give ourselves to something!

If we aren’t pouring ourselves out now when things are as quiet they are, we’ll never have it in us to pour ourselves out when the persecution comes.

Consider these four questions;

1. Am I spending myself in prayer or when it comes to prayer, am I conserving my strength for other things?

And he came out and went to the Mount of Olives as was his

custom and his disciples followed him. And when he came to the

place, he said to them, “Pray that you will not enter into temptation.”

And he withdrew from them about a stone’s throw and knelt down

and prayed. “Father, if thou art willing, remove this cup from me, nevertheless not my will but thine be done.” And there appeared

to him an angel from heaven strengthening him and being in

agony, he prayed more earnestly and his sweat became like great

drops of blood falling down upon the ground. And when he rose

from prayer, he came to his disciples and found them sleeping

for sorrow. And he said to them, “Why do you sleep? Rise and

pray that you may not enter into temptation.” Luke 22:39-46

So here’s a picture of Jesus sweating blood in prayer while his disciples sleep.

How often we say to ourselves, “Oh, my prayer life just isn’t what it should to be.” I just don’t have that joy in prayer. Nothing seems to happen. I don’t know what to pray for.”

As if it’s God’s fault. What are we putting into it?

A prayer life is like a pool of water. Most of us get to the pool and dip our toe in and find it too cold, so we say, “Well, maybe I’ll come back later. I think I’ll try to pray when I’m in better shape.”

When we’re in the mood we try it again. This time we immerse ourselves up to our knees. “Oh, yeah! That’s better.”

But nothing real seems to happen until you plunge in with everything you’ve got, and sink yourself in that pool.

When we begin to spend something in prayer, God will send his Spirit, who will teach us to pray and quicken us in prayer. Then our prayers will come to life.

2. Am I spending myself in the worship of God or am I conserving my strength for other things?

Worship of God -- why should that take strength?

And around the throne, on each side of the throne, are four living creatures full of eyes in front and behind. The first living creature

like a lion, the second living creature like an ox, the third living

creature with the face of a man, and the fourth living creature like

a flying eagle. And the four living creatures, each of them with six

wings, are full of eyes all around and within and day and night,

they never cease to sing, “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God

Almighty who was and is and is to come.” Revelation 4:6b-8

“Oh yeah, but they’re supernatural beings. They never get tired. Nothing to it for them!”

Okay, then what about an eighty-four year old woman?

And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel,

of the tribe of Asher; she was of great age, having lived with her husband seven years from her virginity, and as a widow till she

was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping

with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that

very hour she gave thanks to God, and spoke of him to all who

were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem. Luke 2:36-38

Was Anna wasting her strength worshiping God with fasting and prayer night and day? Were these four creatures wasting eternity doing nothing but saying, “Holy, holy, holy”? They were spending themselves in the most meaningful possible way.

Can we really call it worship

when it doesn’t cost us any strength?

When we’re too tired even to lift up our voices and sing?

When we can’t summon up enough strength to concentrate

on the words that we’re singing,

or somebody else is saying,

or praying,

or singing?

When we don’t have the strength to put something of ourselves

into it when we say, “Glory be to God on high and on earth peace and goodwill to men!” “We praise thee, we bless thee, we worship thee!”

If we don’t put something into it, how can that be called worship?

3. Am I spending myself in the pursuit of a living word from God or am I saving my strength for other things?

And behold, an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a minister of Candace,

queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of all her treasure, had come

to Jerusalem to worship and was returning; seated in his chariot,

he was reading from the prophet Isaiah. And the Spirit said to

Philip, “Go up and join this chariot.” So Philip ran to him, and

heard him reading Isaiah the prophet, and asked, “Do you under-

stand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless

some one guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit

with him. Acts 8: 27b-31

Now consider what this cost this Ethiopian, nobleman,

this minister of the government of Ethiopia.

Think of the years it took him to learn the Hebrew language

so that he could read these Hebrew scriptures.

They didn’t have it translated.

There was no Ethiopian Bible Society.

Then this man travels hundreds of miles to go to Jerusalem. There he spends who knows how much money to get one of those scrolls.

There were no printing presses!

All “printing” had to be done by hand.

It took time.

And here he is in his chariot on his way home again struggling to figure out what God is telling him in this scripture.

We’ve got it in English.

We even have it in modern translations

so you don’t have to worry about “ thees” and “thous”.

We’ve got bible studies all over town.

And still we say, “Oh but I don’t get anything out of the Bible. I get bored when I read the Bible. God never seems to talk to me.”

How desperate are you to hear a word from God?

When you’re desperate enough to spend yourself in the pursuit of a word from God, God will speak, just as surely as he spoke to the Ethiopian.

4. Am I spending myself in the service of Jesus or am I conserving my energies for other things?

If anyone serves me, he must follow me and where I am, there

shall my servant be also. John 12:26

What’s Jesus doing?

He’s constantly pouring himself out.

Seeking the lost sheep of the house of Israel.

Spending himself bringing good news to the poor,

deliverance to the captives,

recovery of sight to the blind.

Laying down his life for people who have absolutely nothing

to offer him except their desperate need of God’s mercy.

And he says if we are going to serve him, then we are going to be there with him doing the same.

Again and again we say, “Oh, if only God would show me what my ministry is.

And by “ministry”, we so often think of

somebody standing up in front of crowds of people.

Somebody with a radio ministry.

Always some great big Ministry.

But that’s not what God means by “ministry”.

Our “ministry” is where we are now.

All we have to do is open our eyes and look around

at the harried,

troubled,

discouraged people that we deal with every day.

And when we see them, we’ll also see Jesus in their midst, beckoning us to come with him and minister to them the forgiveness of the Living God.

One day soon we will each of us give an account to God for what we did with our lives.

Sure we’re saved by grace.

I’m not denying that, but what are you doing with that life that has been saved by grace? Are you spending it?

Or are you wrapping it up in a napkin,

tucking it away to keep it safe?

Conserving it?

In whose name are you spending it? To whose glory?

…unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains

alone. But if it dies it bears much fruit. He who loves his life loses

it. He who hates his life in this world, keeps it for eternal life. If

anyone serves me, he must follow me, and where I am there he is

also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honour him. John 12:24-26

The world won’t honour him, but the Father will.

What more do you want?